This week (Season 7, episode 20), Arizona and Callies (both women) are getting married, and that's brewing quite a storm on Grey's Anatomy's Facebook page.
As Christians, we all know that the Bible states it very clearly that homosexuality is a sin:
Levitcus 18:22
Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.
Genesis 19
Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because the residents were barbaric--including their men's determination to group-rape the male visitors.
And of course, we all know how things turned out for the people of Sodom and Gommorah.
So... as a crazy fan of the show, I have recently been pondering, is it right for me to keep supporting the show? Am I sinning by being okay with this lesbian joining, even if it is all just fictional? After all, doesn't the Bible tell us that we sin just by having unclean thoughts?
To be honest, I have no answer for that.
But, at least I can be totally honest with myself. I know that I sin all the time, despite my best efforts. And when I'm tempted, I can either ignore it and stick up my nose at it or face it directly. Well, I prefer to face it directly because there is no running away... especially when God sees all anyway :)
I am for sure a 110% heterosexual. It's always difficult for me to watch intimacy between the same sex. In fact, when Grey's started casting homosexual story lines, I didn't like it at all. But I've watched the fictional relationship between Arizona and Callie grow, and the love that shines through is pretty breath-taking. And though I still have this guttural feeling that strongly resists homosexuality, I have to say that Arizona and Callie are my one and only favorite lesbian couple. Watching them kiss brings a smile to my face.
What is wrong with me, right?!
Well, like I've said, I'm still pondering, and I still don't have an answer.
But here's what I have so far:
In an earlier show (season 6, episode 5), there was a powerful conversation between Callie and her father, who tried to "pray away the gay". The conversation culminated with Callie shouting, "Jesus is my savior, not you! Jesus is my judge, not you! And Jesus would be ashamed at you for judging me!"
That's some powerful stuff for me because it reminds me that we were told to first love God and then to love our neighbors as ourselves. Jesus taught us that these are the two most important commandments (Matthew 22:36-40)!
We weren't told to judge or to turn our backs from those who do not follow God's Way. No, we were told to love our neighbors. Period. Not just the devout Christian neighbors, but also the not-so-perfect Christian neighbors, and certainly non-Christians!
We weren't told to judge, but we were told to rebuke our fellow brothers and sisters (Luke 171:10). Judging and rebuking are not the same. Judging is giving out a sentence, in a very matter-of-fact way. Guilty. Period. It allows no room for the person being judged to make any changes. Rebuking, on the other hand, is telling the person that what he/she is doing is not right in God's eyes. And in the process, help the person find his/her way to the Way. Jesus reminded us that we need to rebuke as many times as needed to lead those straying back to the Path. Rebuking sounds like pointing our fingers at the sinful person and strongly chastising him for his faults. But, we should learn from Jesus, right? Jesus rebuked many, but He always did so with such love and tenderness. He would graciously point out the sins of the people and lead them toward salvation.
It's always so, so, so easy to judge. But to rebuke with love, that's what we were taught to do, and it's still something I'm working on.
We all sin one way or another. We see dust in other people's eyes and yet remain ignorant of the plank in our own eyes (Matthew 7:3-5). Since none of us are without sin, how can we rightfully judge one another? We should therefore help each other grow, and allow love to help us overcome our prejudices.
I have a strong guttural rejection to homosexual intimacy, but that doesn't mean I am going to shun homosexual people. In fact, I have many homosexual friends. I pray to God to soften their hearts so that they may be open to His message. And I pray to God to grant me an opening when I can share that message with them. I pray the same prayer for all my non-Christian friends, and I certainly pray for myself that I may remain vigilant in God's Way and never deviate.
The fictional love between Arizona and Callie is so real, it hurts to know that such a beautiful thing (in human eyes) is sinful to God. It makes me want to pray and ask, why can't it be okay? If the love between them is real, why can't it be okay?
I discussed this with my husband a while back, and he brought up a good point: God has an order for everything. In regards to the place of a man and a woman in a household, God also has an order (1 Timothy 2). Marriage is the start of a household, and in a household, the man is to lead while the woman is to support the man. When there are two men or two women in the "household", how is that suppose to work? True, one of the two can be the "guy" while the other be the "gal". You know, I'm not sure whether that would really be that easy to accomplish, but I've never been in a gay relationship, so I really can't speak from experience. But the bigger point is, God has an order for everything. Just as every body part needs to play its part and is equally important (the head can't function without the arms; the digestive system can't function without the small intestines, etc.), the house of God needs both men and women to do their part.
Here, we can get into a debate about "What about those who were born with male organs but feel feminine on the inside?" Yes, what about that. What about those who were born blind? Who were born with a cleft palate? Who were born with birth defects?
No, I'm not trying to equate homosexuality to genetic defects. What I'm trying to point out is the number of unexplainable events that life throws at us. I certainly don't have the answers. I don't know why things happen the way they do. But I do know that we were taught to place our trust in the Lord and pray for guidance to lead us through all difficulties. It is not about doing what we want (We've shown this leads to disasters time and time again... depicted especially well in the book of Judges); it's about trusting God enough to follow Him, even when we can't understand why.
We all have our own sins to deal with, and many are very difficult issues. But we are the only ones who can face them, and God is the only one who can provide resolution. Turning away from God because His Way doesn't please us doesn't help (check out the book of Isaiah and learn from the mistakes of the Israelites). And because many issues are difficult, we should be glad that we can depend on the gentle rebukes of our fellow brothers and sisters.
So, if I were Arizona's and Callie's friend, I would tell them how inspirational their love is (because Love is God, and genuine love is therefore amazing!). But, I would also find the best opportunity to talk to them about God.
Bible thumping never does anyone any good. I was Bible thumped for many, many years, and I can confirm that it only pushed me further away.
If, however, I can gently lead people to God, then God will do the rest. I know this because that was how I was led to God. My husband gently answered my questions and cleared up my misunderstandings. He never once judged me but always provided support and information. And it was because of my own thirst for more, I found the courage to turn away from my sins and to place my faith in God.
So, let us not judge. Let us rebuke with love, just as Jesus taught and showed us.
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