http://marshill.com/media/real-marriage/can-we-________
Notes from Sunday sermon by Pastor Mark Driscoll
Click on the link provided above to view Driscoll's entire sermon, but here's the bottom line:
Sex is what makes a marriage relationship stand out from all other kinds of relationships, so it's inevitable that a large portion of discussions about marriage concerns sex. People generally get embarrassed or dodgy about such discussions because different groups of people paint different perspectives of sex, and discussions often just end up in one big mess. So, for me, it helps to remember the following things:
1) Sex is a gift from God for a covenantal marriage between a man and a woman.
2) Since sex is a gift from God between a husband and a wife, then we ought to be able to enjoy it.
3) And if we are to enjoy sex, then honest questions are okay questions to be asked and explored. Honest questions are not shameful!
Driscoll thus offers three questions that we can ask to help us navigate through other questions we may have about how to enjoy sex as a Godly married couple:
1. Is it lawful?
2. Is it helpful?
3. Is it enslaving?
(See Driscoll's sermon video/transcript for details.)
Personally, my take-home was "How to enjoy sex" is a healthy question between a Godly husband and a Godly wife. It allows them to enjoy sex as a gift, and it allows them to be connected not just theologically but emotionally and physically -- essentially, be COMPLETELY connected, allowing absolutely no space for Satan to get in between them. ("Do not give the devil a foothold," we were told by Paul in his letter to the Ephesians.)
Pulling back, the concept is still the same: Genuine and honest questions are healthy questions that should be addressed. We often feel ashamed or embarrassed of certain questions because society (family, friends, colleagues, etc.) has projected negativity around those questions. The truth is, when we have questions without answers, those questions will just peck at us until we are consumed by those questions, which could further prevent us from living as true followers of Christ. So, be open and honest with ourselves, and openly and honestly deal with any question that we may have so that we may find answers that would help us move on.
As it is the same premise with those "sex questions," we always start out seeking God's guidance. We pray for wisdom, and we pray for direction. Let God speak to us, show us, and take us where He wants us to be. When we are grounded solidly in God, we will find answers. The key to finding answers, therefore, rests in our personal relationships with God. There is a reason why Jesus told us to love God first -- Once we have that down, everything else will just be a piece of cake.
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